Police Blotter Shakespeare

Great fun from Burke Hilsabeck at the McSweeney's site: Shakespeare plots retold in 'police blotter' versions. For the benefit those of us on this side of the Atlantic, police blotters are the daily factual arrest records in American police stations. Newspapers pick up on these, and you can read them online now, from (fans of The Wire perk up now) publications such as the Baltimore Sun.

Hilsabeck has written reports for several plays, including Othello, Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet. So, in this spirit, here's our first one. Feel free to join in via email or the comment box:-

Officers were dispatched to Interstate 33 at 01:30hrs Friday, and took into protective custody for his own safety Mr Malcolm Volio (47). Mr Volio had been seen walking along the highway by several drivers. He was dressed in medieval costume with fluorescent yellow stockings, and stated that he was travelling to the residence of Ms Bella Olivia of Illyria Drive, who employs him as a personal assistant. He made several threatening remarks about members of the household and alleged unlawful detention in a cellar on the previous day at the address. Ms Olivia's uncle, Tobias Belch, has been taken to Precinct 8 for questioning.